Are you asking too much of your writing?

Why external success markers miss the point...

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Picture the scene. You spent five years writing a book. You turned down social events to keep writing, you sacrificed financially to keep writing, you dealt with the heaviness of carrying a book around in your head (which sometimes gave you the feeling of having a never ending stream of homework that you never finished). Then, you get an agent and sell your book, and you expect it to repay you for all of your sacrifice, by way of giving you money and prestige. Now you can go back to all those people whose parties you had to miss and have something to show for it. Now your partner will accept the time you chose to write rather than hang out. Now, they will all finally understand all the sacrifices you made because you have proven yourself as a writer.

Even as I write this, I can feel the longing in it.

Photo by Ravi Sharma on Unsplash

I also want to advocate, though, for the idea that we don’t need these things to prove ourselves as writers and maybe in requiring these things we miss the other very magical things that writing gives us. Bear with me…

If I told you that you had to stop writing tomorrow and you could never write again, I am almost certain your first thought wouldn’t be, oh but how will I make money if I can’t write? 

Take a moment, breathe, imagine that you were never allowed to write again. What comes up?

Would you feel lost? Would you feel like you had no outlet? Would you be able to make sense of the world?  Would you miss dabbling in words, fumbling among sentences? What came up for you? (Note: If it’s relief then you may need a break).

Writing is my greatest channel to the universe. Those fleeting moments when I feel like I am channelling my book, when I am so fully connected to myself and entirely free of myself, are worth all the sacrifice, even if they last mere moments.

The times where I capture a feeling in words and readers reflect that back, feel life changing.

There are all those moments when writing has helped me make sense of the world.

Then, there is the delight of writing the most satisfying simile or metaphor, the most beautiful sentence, with alliteration that tickles the tongue and makes me giggle with delight that a few carefully selected works can bring me such joy.

Then there are the times when someone has read my work and felt seen, heard or understood, oh the heart opening!

Then there are the more mediocre times where I get to just rest into my novel, finding a place to land each day.

If we constantly wait for the pay out and the prizes to make us worthy as writers and to make writing ‘worth it,’ we miss so much of the magic. I would argue that even if a book never sees the light of day, it is entirely worth it.

I wrote about this on this Instagram post a few years back. I spent 7 years writing a book that is in a cupboard. It cost me time, money, heartache, mosquito bites (during the research ;) but it was worth every single bit of it.

susannahrigg

A post shared by Susannah Rigg (@susannahrigg)

In my experience with travel writing, the external validation of a popular article could be undone in one negative comment straight into my inbox. I might be published in a prestigious publication and it would be exciting for a day maybe and then I was on to the next article. I have heard so many authors say the same. It’s exciting and then you just have to write the next book.

I recently heard Danny Ramadan on the Secret Library Podcast, openly declaring that he wants all the prizes. It was quite refreshing and I get it. He also shared that his dream was always to have his book in an airport bookstore and then, once it was, the little voice inside his head upped the ante on him, saying “well if it was any good you, it would have won all the prizes.” This to me is a great example of how external proof of our worth is so fleeting and slippery that we absolutely cannot rely on it as any real gauge of ourselves as writers.

There is nothing wrong with wanting fortune and prestige in writing. Absolutely not. And there is often some work to be done to believe that money won’t corrupt our art too (see chapter 6 in The Artist’s Way)

But let’s also enjoy the process of writing, delight in the magic, delve into the mystery and let’s give it all we can (when we can) because it truly offers us so much. 

Here’s what a few other writers have to say about why they write:

“The best thing about writing fiction is that moment where the story catches fire and comes to life on the page, and suddenly it all makes sense and you know what it’s about and why you’re doing it and what these people are saying and doing, and you get to feel like both the creator and the audience. Everything is suddenly both obvious and surprising… and it’s magic and wonderful and strange.” Neil Gaiman

“Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.” Gloria Steinem

“It’s kind of like an exorcism, in some ways . . . one reason I love writing and painting when I can is that I literally feel like I can disappear for a moment.” Raven Leilani

“That sort of out of body experience of total engagement, which comes to us if we are lucky…is one of the greatest happinesses in life. Happiness is not quite the word, it’s more like wellbeing…and it is only when you snap out of it that you think ‘oh wow,’ that was something.” Ian McEwan (Penguin Podcast)

Why do you write? This is probably a question you have asked yourself over the years. What would you miss if you gave up writing? Also, what is the book that changed your life? Are you glad the author wrote it, even if it didn’t bring them millions in return? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

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Recommendations

Things I have enjoyed or found helpful recently…

Podcast: Elizabeth Gilbert talks often about this idea of not putting pressure on your writing to pay for your life. This podcast is a beautiful pulling apart of the idea of purpose and delves into what it means just to create for creation’s sake.

IP/Copyright as Artists: There is so much to love about this interview with Michael Coel, she’s such an inspiration. But, it came back to mind when talking with another writer about retaining rights to our work. Coel talks about this (11 minutes in) and her words have served as constant inspiration.

Flash Fiction: Speaking of prizes 😊, the Bath Flash Fiction Award closes on Feb 5. If you wrote along to some of my prompts last year and what to give them a shot out in the world, this could be a fun chance.

Vibes: I love the

Agents and Books

newsletter and this week's share discussed whether A Good Book is all About the Vibes. I loved this idea and it got me really thinking about my book and feedback on it and what vibe I feel as the writer while I am writing it.

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Mentoring

Have you found it hard to make space for your writing? Do you have a project that you want to start, or are desperate to complete? Do you want to make 2023 the year where you really dedicate time to that book that sits in your heart? I’d love to hear from you. Sign up for a discovery call and we can chat!