Last week I ripped up a year and a half’s worth of morning pages and threw them away.
Most mornings I dump my energy and thoughts onto the pages of an A4 size notebook. Some mornings the three pages flow out of me and before I know it, they are written. Other days it is like getting blood from a stone, every word feels like a slog and I wonder why I torture myself every morning. Sometimes they are full of epiphany and ahas. Other times I am so bored of what I have to say that I can barely manage to write the words on the page. BUT however they might feel to write , I really notice when I am not writing them. I feel disconnected from myself and from my day. Those three pages anchor me into myself and into my life and I am so grateful that Julia Cameron shared this practice with the world.
Now, as you probably know if you journal or write morning pages, those pages add up and soon you have notebook upon notebook of brain dump.
As someone who travels a lot and likes to move somewhat often (I have a wandering soul and I have given in to it at this point), having lots of notebooks is not my ideal. So, as I slim down my belongings before a little extended trip, I bit the bullet and ripped all my inner most thoughts into pieces and disposed of them. At first, I hesitated, wondering if I’d regret it, if I would want to read them in years to come and then I read the first line of one of the pages, felt all of the energy in it and thought, “thank you, I release you, I don’t need to hold on to you now.”
And, I have to say…it felt so good!
When I told a wise friend later, she said: “I realized [my journals] were a tool that was useful to dump out energy in the moment but keeping them was wasted physical space and heavy energy.”
“Yes,” I said, “that’s it! Heavy energy, not just heavy books.”
What do you do with your journals/morning pages? Does the thought of throwing them away sound liberating or sacrilegious? I’d love to hear!
And also: I am going to be taking some long plane rides soon and would like to stock up on podcasts about writing for the journey. What are your favourites? I’d be so grateful if you would share in the comments if you have one you recommend :)
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Recommendations
On Persistence and Rejections: A dear, fellow writer friend sent me this beautiful and honest newsletter from the Atticus Review on the tenacity we need as writers. Just seeing how many rejections the writer got before some of his most celebrated work was published felt like a well needed balm.
Character Arcs: I pulled this helpful resource out of my files for a client the other day and realised I have never shared it here. If you want a nice short cut to getting clear on character arcs, it could be for you.
Mentoring
I suddenly realised the other day that all my current clients have names starting with J. I was delighted by that little synchronous revelation. So, if you would like to join the J Crew (my middle name starts with a J too), or if you’d like to start a new crew with the first initial of your name, get in touch!
This week, I got a beautiful acknowledgement in a client’s book. I was touched and humbled, as well as delighted for Andrew on the publication of his book (he’s now flown the mentoring nest in case you are wondering why his name doesn’t start with J). His wonderful words are out in the world and to think I played even the smallest role in that fills me with joy!
I am so on again off again with journaling and with my morning pages. I do have a couple of notebooks filled, however, and the idea of burning them feels liberating!
Also, On Writing by Stephen King. We’ve all read it, but there’s something special about hearing him read it. Different things hit home and sink in. Not a podcast, but such a good listen!
I think you should write a eulogy to your journals! I have debated this for a decade and even after mining each one thoroughly and transforming workable nuggets into stories or sentences or paragraphs or poems, cannot bear to let the bound pages go. So they sit in my attic, along with my mother’s and grandmother’s collections, waiting to be discovered by future archaeologists for I am the last of the family line.