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I have a wandering soul. I shared about this on Instagram last year and from the responses, it would seem I am not alone. Part of this affliction means that when I am having a bad day/moment I very quickly start blaming where I live and thinking I should be living somewhere else. This isnât helped by having family and friends across three continents. I can spend hours pondering where it is I âshouldâ be living rather than looking at the ârealâ problem right in front of me. There is always a part of me somehow thinking I should be living somewhere else and that means that there is a part of me that subconsciously never fully puts down my roots. Boy, are there some stories I could tellâŠbut right now thereâs a newsletter to write.
Now before I go on, I just want to acknowledge how lucky I am to even have these thoughts. I wonât labour this point, but it certainly bears mentioning.
Anyway, last week, a revolutionary question dropped into my mind during a walk.
If you knew you could/would never leave the place where you live, how would you live differently?
Iâll just pause for a moment for any fellow wandering souls to read that again.
This question has been the ultimate gamechanger for me. It has shown me so many ways in which I limit going deeper, ways that I might choose to fly rather that root down, ways that I see things as temporary and therefore donât fully invest, ways that I avoid looking at a problem.
The feeling that this question, if you knew you could/would never leave the place where you live, how would you live differently, has given me is one of an exhale. It has provided the container from which I get to be held. I am still unpacking all that this question has to show me, but it feels big, important and gloriously earthy.
And, before you start to wonder what the heck this has to do with writing. Well, I believe the trait of the wandering soul can also appear within writing projects.
You know the feeling when you hit a tricky spot in the writing of a book and suddenly a new idea grabs your attention so you start that instead? Or the feeling when you canât work out what to do about a problem with a character, a plot point, the ending, the beginning, so you give up, go on to something else/outsource the problem to an editor.* There are so many ways that we can âwanderlustâ our writing.
But, what if you knew this novel/memoir/short story you are writing would never leave you (in a good way, not an intense way), how would you approach it differently?
I am advocating for turning towards the problem rather than away, for sitting in the discomfort and trusting a solution will come, if you give it time.
I am not saying you need to stare at the problem on your computer for hours (youâll see here, that I definitely donât advocate for that) but what I am suggesting is that we sit in the discomfort of not knowing how to fix something/not knowing what happens next etc and allowing it to be uncomfortable for a while.
I envisage this as a rooting down, a commitment to a piece, a way of letting you and the piece know that you are there for the long haul and that you will work out the problem eventually. And there comes the exhale. Do you feel it?
*Outsourcing to an editor can be a great idea (I am one, so I would say that), but I would always advocate for giving a problem time too. I trust you have the answers. A good editor will also likely highlight the problem back to you, rather than solve it anyway (although, more on that soon).
Mentoring
Is 2024 your year to really dedicate yourself to that soul project that keeps calling you, or to finally write âThe Endâ on that book you have been working on for a few years now?
As Julia Cameron says âone of our chief needs as creative beings is support,â and I would love to support you in moving towards your goals.
Somebody asked me about my style of mentoring recently and this was my answerâŠâMy style, as you can probably imagine, is about guiding you back to your inner connection and knowing, directing you back to your own power. I see myself as a witness who listens deeply and guides you towards your goals (be they project completion/ publication or just feeling good/satisfied as a writer and in your writing life) intuiting what is needed to make you feel more confident and connected to your work. I will keep you on track and will challenge you on procrastination/diversions understanding that these usually come from fear of some kind and not laziness or motivational factors.â
If this resonates with you then Iâd love to meet with you on a Discovery Call.
Note: My mentoring rates are rising as of 31st Jan, but thereâs still time to jump on at the old rates for your first month.
Recommendations
Things I have loved recentlyâŠ
Book: Here is the text message I sent my friendâŠ. âOh my goodness have you read We all Want Impossible Things? Iâm laughing and crying simultaneously. Itâs one of the most beautiful books about the reality of life and death that Iâve ever readâŠItâs so beautiful and real and funny and heartbreaking. And the main character is a beautiful, flawed mess.â I think that says it all- a stunning book!
Book: I am finally reading Matt Bellâs craft book Refuse to be Done. I am almost finished and am already recommending it to clients. I like that he is clear in his suggestions but not prescriptive and there are so many great juicy tidbits and ideas. Thank you to a dear reader, Laurie, who bought it for me on Buy me a Book đ
Thank you for being here!
This is not just a hypothetical question for me but my current lived reality and the way I wrestled with that is "to live at a slower pace and just take in each moment".
"If you knew you could/would never leave the place where you live, how would you live differently?" Wow, such a shocking and surprising and expansive question. Thank you!