Creative U-Turns
Why we often stumble at the final hurdle
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Have you ever got really close to the end of a writing project and then turned away from it? Have you finished a project and then done nothing with it? Have you ever found yourself in the final stretch only to get completely stalled there, unable to move forward?
I know I have, and I have heard so many of my clients tell me different versions of this. I don’t think it is that the end of a project is any harder writing wise, or that we are always just attracted to a new shiny thing, but rather I think it is fear of what comes next that is stalling us. Fear of putting our work out into the world, fear of the unknown, fear of failure and maybe more often, fear of success. So, if we stall or don’t take that next step we save ourselves from it all.
Now, I have said this before, we are writers so we can come up with all sorts of stories that help us build a convincing narrative about why we are doing what we are doing…
It’s just not working, I don’t think it’s any good and this new idea is better, I just can’t work out how to make these final changes, It’s not the right time for the market, I should probably get a 10th Beta reader in case all other 9 were wrong, That idea I had in the shower is way better so I should start on that, I will never finish this so I may as well give up.
Julia Cameron refers to this as a Creative U-Turn and I am forever recommending people read Chapter 9 of The Artist’s Way, because I know I understood a crucial part of where I was self sabotaging when I read it. She gives a few examples:
“A screenwriter has an agent interested in repping a script with just a few changes. He doesn’t make the changes….A fledgling photographer is greatly encouraged by her teacher’s interest in her work. She botches developing one roll of film and then quits the class, claiming it was boring.”
Do you recognise these behaviours? I know I do. I have seen them in myself and other creatives I know and love.
As always, Cameron offers compassion as the answer
“Think of your talent as a young and skittish horse that you are bringing along. This horse is very talented but is also very young and nervous and inexperienced. It will make mistakes, be frightened by obstacles it hasn’t seen before. It may even bolt, try to throw you off, feign lameness. Your job, as the creative jockey, is to keep the horse moving forward and to coax it into finishing the course.”
She goes on to say that being aware which obstacles feel the scariest can help you keep moving forward. Like with many things, awareness is key. Once you know where you are likely to stall you can be ready for it, ask for help, know that it is a place where you need to dig deeper to keep going. I try to notice my clients’ repeating obstacles and to gently reflect them back to them. It can be helpful to take the charge away from the negative story or the desire to give up. Many times it has allowed them to just slightly trip and keep going rather than fall and get stuck.
Take a look at your writing projects over the last few years. Do you notice anywhere that you stopped or made a u-turn? Has reading this helped you see where you might be blocking yourself for fear of the obstacle or potential success before you?
You can support yourself by taking inventory, shining a light on these patterns, taking just a little of their charge and power away.
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Do you feel like you have a head full of ideas and interests but can’t quite land on your next creative project? Do you need to start writing your next book but the story is just eluding you? Are you looking for a new focus in your creative life but can’t work out which way you want to go?
Being a sounding board, asking expansive questions, deeply listening and moving my clients from uncertainty and contraction into clarity and expansion is one of my absolute favourite things to do.
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Now, I know I need to write out what I thought of last night. Thanks for the extra push.
I 100% have done this kind of self-sabotage, often hiding behind the "I'm such a perfectionist" excuse. It's so easy to let doubt and fear take over. For me, sometimes reflecting on the wins and successes is really helpful—it adds some perspective and lets me see how far I've come, building up my confidence. <3 Thanks for sharing Susannah!