I'm deep in my third act edit and I had been cruising (maybe not the right word but I was liking the process at least) through this edit up until I reached the section that I rewrote completely during my second edit and I hate it. To the point where I want to walk away from the thing because I don't want to have to confront rewriting quite a crucial part of the damn novel. It's a third act of a romance novel so it's also expressing a lot of emotion which is not something I'm good at so I am finding the whole endeavour more cringy than any of the sex scenes I've had to edit/write. I'm finding it fascinating seeing how my desire to not deal with the ending is manifesting itself, currently I am hyper focused on the overall word count and don't think it's long enough so am making up scenes that I could maybe add to earlier in the manuscript where everything feels safer
I 100% have done this kind of self-sabotage, often hiding behind the "I'm such a perfectionist" excuse. It's so easy to let doubt and fear take over. For me, sometimes reflecting on the wins and successes is really helpful—it adds some perspective and lets me see how far I've come, building up my confidence. <3 Thanks for sharing Susannah!
A head full of ideas and interests, and fear of what comes next/ happens if I succeed. Those resonate. Thank you for giving me something to reflect on here!
Such an insightful and relevant letter, Susannah. With two unpublished novels gathering dust, I can certainly relate. I initially left novel #2 to deal with important issues in my family, and I hold true to the belief I had to make that choice. Upon doing the internal work, however, I realize there were other deeper issues holding me back. Nothing has been wasted. I've lifted bits and pieces of scenarios and plots from those first novels and used them in a completely different way in novel #3. Thanks for writing on this because it's given me some fulfilling reflection.
I'm deep in my third act edit and I had been cruising (maybe not the right word but I was liking the process at least) through this edit up until I reached the section that I rewrote completely during my second edit and I hate it. To the point where I want to walk away from the thing because I don't want to have to confront rewriting quite a crucial part of the damn novel. It's a third act of a romance novel so it's also expressing a lot of emotion which is not something I'm good at so I am finding the whole endeavour more cringy than any of the sex scenes I've had to edit/write. I'm finding it fascinating seeing how my desire to not deal with the ending is manifesting itself, currently I am hyper focused on the overall word count and don't think it's long enough so am making up scenes that I could maybe add to earlier in the manuscript where everything feels safer
Now, I know I need to write out what I thought of last night. Thanks for the extra push.
I 100% have done this kind of self-sabotage, often hiding behind the "I'm such a perfectionist" excuse. It's so easy to let doubt and fear take over. For me, sometimes reflecting on the wins and successes is really helpful—it adds some perspective and lets me see how far I've come, building up my confidence. <3 Thanks for sharing Susannah!
A head full of ideas and interests, and fear of what comes next/ happens if I succeed. Those resonate. Thank you for giving me something to reflect on here!
Such an insightful and relevant letter, Susannah. With two unpublished novels gathering dust, I can certainly relate. I initially left novel #2 to deal with important issues in my family, and I hold true to the belief I had to make that choice. Upon doing the internal work, however, I realize there were other deeper issues holding me back. Nothing has been wasted. I've lifted bits and pieces of scenarios and plots from those first novels and used them in a completely different way in novel #3. Thanks for writing on this because it's given me some fulfilling reflection.