Post Project Sadness

Should we really dive into a new project immediately?

(Above is a voice recording of the newsletter, complete with bird call, me forgetting how to say 2021 and the occasional passing car)

Dear readers, I am back in your inbox for the second week running to make up for missed newsletters over the past month, when I was deep in edits.

Last week I mentioned that I finished my novel. Now, my book is out in the world looking for an agent. The night before I started querying it, I went to the beach for sunset and found myself writing my novel a letter, thanking it for everything it had offered me and wishing it well on its journey to finding its way in the world. I promised I would have its back and also trusted that it would go well. Towards the end of the letter, I heard a commotion just along the beach. A whole flurry of baby turtles were scuttling along the sand.

“As I write this, baby turtles are finding their way to the ocean. They know instinctively what to do, as do you, my dear book. Go forth, find your home.”

I share this to show how close I feel to my novel, how this last 3 years of my life have been invested in it, living with the characters, living in the plot. When I thought I was finished back in 2021, the characters wouldn’t let me go. Turns out it was because the book wasn’t finished, their story still hadn’t been fully told and they let me know. Now, I feel them content, separate from me somehow, living their lives beyond my pen.

All this to say that finishing a book feels big and more often than not results in feelings of grief. As one writer friend shared, “it feels like a breakup.” I have felt like this every time and yet I always seem to forget it, and after the excitement of finishing, it shocks me with how deep the grief feels.

There is a well known piece of advice given in writers circles, that the way to get over the sadness /deal with the void of finishing a book, is to start the next book. I have heard it many times, I have probably even given this advice to writer friends myself. But now, I want to question it.

Is suggesting to a writer that they immediately start another book, actually good advice? Or is it more about our discomfort with grief? Should our advice really be, take some time to grieve for it, you’ll know when you feel ready to start the next one.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the querying process can be slow and hard, so it is wonderful to have another project to take your mind off it, to stop you checking your inbox every few seconds. But I am not sure that as creatives we are always able just to dive straight into another project without honouring and grieving the one we just gave years of our life to. It’s much like saying you should get over a relationship by jumping into a new one. Sometimes that works, but other times we take the old relationship into the new one and my sense is that it might be the same with books.

Why are we so averse to really just feeling the grief, reflecting on what we had, what it meant and letting it go in our own time?

Michaela Coel is one of the few writers I have heard speak on this subject. In a podcast with Louis Theroux she referred to herself as having Post Writum Depression after finishing I May Destroy You. She described how she needed to rebuild herself after giving everything to the project, see friends she hadn’t seen, go for runs, rebuild her health. She even changed her email address because she wasn’t ready to receive offers to do new things!

So, I would like to give you permission to feel what you need to feel after a project ends because you have given it so much. You will start a new project, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks, maybe in a few months. You might want to have fun in a different format for a while and I trust you’ll know when you are ready to “get working on the next book.” Until then, honour everything you went through and the sadness of letting your characters and subject go. I honour the time it takes.

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Mentoring

“One of our chief needs as creative beings is support.” Julia Cameron

I still have a couple of 4-session packages available for March as I have opened up more hours now the novel is complete. I would love to work with you, supporting you in moving forward with you writing projects. I work with novelists, historical fiction writers, memoirists, short story writers, essayists and people just starting out on their writing journey. It is my joy to help guide more beautiful and important words out into the world. To find out more visit my mentoring page or sign up for a free call with me.

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Recommendations

Things I have enjoyed recently…

Mexico City: Anyone who’s been to Mexico City has heard the droning call of the metal collectors…Se compra, colchones…This five minute audio story on NPR, that a dear friend sent me the other day, tells the touching story behind it.

London: I’ve been thinking a lot about my home city recently. I am very overdue a visit. This piece by George the Poet is ten years old but still speaks to the beauty and challenges of the diverse and brilliant English capital.

Cacao: I find drinking cacao when I write really helps me drop more into my heart. Here is a piece I wrote back in 2019 (which was recently republished) about cacao and a wonderful cafe near to the mighty pyramids of Teotihucán, looking to restore and reconnect to the ancient uses of cacao in modern Mexico.